From: http://www.bizjournals.com/
No one among my friends was ever involved in the debate club at school. (They aren’t admitting it, anyway).
But there are many times in life when you are asked to share your opinion and need to defend it. So how do you do it?
What are those situations?
We’ve all heard those stories about bar patrons in Italy almost coming to blows. It turns out not to be an argument, but a spirited discussion about the relative merits of their favorite football teams. That’s not the situation I have in mind.
Consider these instead:
- Job interview – You are asked your opinion about the future direction of a specific industry.
- High net worth socializing – You meet a captain of industry or a member of Congress who asks your opinion about a political issue.
- Dating – You are on a blind date or meet someone socially. They mention a news story and ask your opinion.
- In-laws – You are just married and meeting the extended family at a holiday gathering. They want to learn more about you. They ask questions.
The basic rules
Before we get into specifics, here are the ground rules:
- Be calm – You are passionate about your political candidate. You feel dissenters are heading towards certain disaster. Keep a clear head.
- Be confident – You are expressing your opinion, not seeking approval from another person.
- Have an opinion – Avoid an answer that covers all bases. When investing, people rely on their advisors for advice. Clients respect advisors more if they have a point of view, versus “It could go either way. We really don’t know.”
- You are on stage – The person asking the question is making judgements about you.
- You have an audience – People standing around may not be actively participating, but they are making judgments, too.
Sample questions
- Aren’t we taking this a bit too seriously? After all, I’m at a party and just finished a couple of cocktails. Can’t I just answer off the top of my head?
- Candidates for public office have learned by experience this is not a good idea. Your questions will likely be simpler:
- Who do you think will be our next president?
- What do you think the real estate market will do over the next couple of years?
- What is the stock market going to do?
- What are your thoughts on the new bypass that will cross the wetlands?
- How do you feel about the proposed tax on soda?
How to look like you know what you’re talking about
Consider these basic rules:
- You don’t know the other person’s point of view: Someone mentions smoking. You reply “Based on what we know about tobacco and cancer today, anyone who still smokes is an idiot.” You don’t know if they are a smoker.
- Draw them out: Yes, they asked for your opinion. If possible, it helps to know what views they hold personally. “You asked about real estate. I’m assuming you saw that article about increasing property taxes to make up for the pension funding shortfall.” Stop talking. They may share their position. If not, you share your own.
- Respect their position: Their position is well-known because they are running for office. Maybe they shared their opinion earlier. Don’t laugh at them or belittle them. “You bring up a very good point” or “I hear you” are ways to acknowledge their opinion without actually agreeing with it.
- Share what we know already – The Declaration of Independence includes the words: “We hold these truths to be self-evident…” Start by briefly stating the background facts.
- Express your opinion simply – We are familiar with soundbites from TV. A person’s transient attention span is estimated to be as short as eight seconds. If you want proof, think about how long you spend glancing over a webpage to determine if it’s interesting.
- Use a logical sequence – Point A leads to B which leads to C.
- Back up your argument with facts – Mention recently-published articles or where you got your information. Too many people make up facts or pull numbers out of the air.
- Pause to allow questions – This isn’t a televised debate. It’s a conversation with another person.
- Be prepared to prove your point – Your listener may want to see those facts for themselves. Be prepared to send article links the next day if they request it.
- Deliver your conclusion based on preconditions – “Will the stock market go up? Well, if the Fed does (this) and the economy does (that), I expect the stock market will react favorably…” Your prediction is based on other things happening.
People are making decisions about you constantly. Should we hire this person? Are they an airhead? Can they take a position and defend it? Doing this properly puts you in a favorable light.
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