Mad Libs predictions: What Boston techies and investors expect in 2015



From: http://betaboston.com/innovation-economy/

Crowdsourcing — the new coinage for “getting other people to do your work” — was one of the business world’s big trends in 2014. And this week, I’m milking it for all it’s worth.

Instead of coming up with my own predictions for the year ahead, I created a list of fill-in-the-blank statements and sent them to a bunch of local digerati. Crowdsourcing in action!

The questions are below. My only instructions: You can be funny or be serious, but try to be interesting. I’ve put several of the best answers after each one, along with the submitter’s initials. You can see who contributed all the answers at the end. (This is an extended version of the column that will run in Sunday’s paper.)

1. Foosball, nap rooms, and espresso machines are now par for the course at talent-hungry tech companies. The newest office perk you’ll start seeing in 2015 will be _____________.

– on-site bartenders. (MD)
– pre-paid Uber accounts. (SK, RG)
– in-cubicle shaves. (ALPP, MH)
– climbing walls and spas. (RH)
– DJ booths. (WB)

2. Governor-elect Charlie Baker will try to prove his tech-savviness in 2015 by __________.

– signing on Boston as a beta city for Elon Musk’s new vacuum tube transporter, and agreeing to be the first passenger. (BJ)
– extending biotech incentives to high-tech, because they generate higher returns. (TD)
– speaking in #hashtags. It will be weird. (AG)
– tweeting his budget. (RK)
– bringing Google Fiber to Boston/Cambridge. (AP)
– eliminating non-compete agreements in Massachusetts. (TS, MV)

3. Uber backlash was soooo 2014. In 2015, ______ will face backlash because _____.

– Airbnb … of the confusion around lack of appropriate homeowners insurance. (MG)
– Amazon … they will be the only retailer left. And they will decide it’s time to make some profits. (AG)
– Bitcoin … it fomented a revolution in Russia. (RK)

4. Once Snapchat and Tinder become passé, the kids will all start using an app that _____.

– sends your friends a joint — once they’ve registered their medical necessity, of course. (JB)
– sends scents as messages. (TD)
– no one over 40 will have heard of until it’s valued at $5 billion. (ALPP)
– continuously posts their thoughts via an embedded brain chip. (JS)
– mutes their parents like a remote control. (PB)

5. MIT will announce that ______ has donated $100 million to start the Institute for _____________.

– Mark Zuckerberg … Worldwide Digital Community and Minimalist Fashion. (JB)
– Netflix … Total Industry Disruption. (AP)
– Kanye West … Kanye West. (AL)
– Ben Edelman … Misunderstood Business School Professors Who Love Reasonably Priced Chinese Food. (AG)

6. The next tech company to open up a branch office in Boston will be ___________.

– Pinterest. (MD)
– Alibaba. (JB, MG, TD, RG)
– Dropbox. (TS)
– Baidu. (PK)
– Box. (TM)
– Xiaomi. (RK)

7. In 2015, the IPO window will ______ after _________.

– close … great entrepreneurs realize that being public is a huge pain. Just ask Michael Dell. (AP)
– slowly close … March. (MG)
– blast open for security firms … Bit9’s IPO is wildly successful. (AG)
– expand further … desperate oligarchs seek a place to stash cash. (RW)
– slam shut … Airbnb shoots a gerbil out of a cannon in a Super Bowl ad, and everyone gets dot-com melt-down flashbacks. (ALPP)

8. After losing a collective $1 billion on Kickstarter projects that never get finished, Kickstarter’s community of backers will _______.

– pool their money to hire a class action lawyer. (MK)
– go to Las Vegas, where the odds are better. (AP)
– go back to investing in mutual funds. (MG)
– back a better version of Kickstarter, most likely on Kickstarter. (PB)

9. The most annoying problem I’d like to see technology solve in 2015 is ___________.

– Boston winters. (JB)
– texting while driving. (AP)
– retargeting ads to me on the web when I have already purchased the product. (TS)
– finding parking spots in Boston! No, no, no just kidding. Go figure out how to make a phone battery that lasts longer or something. (AG)
– making exercise fun for us nerds. (RW)
– dumb questionnaires from Scott Kirsner. (HA)

10. First, robots assembled cars. Then, they vacuumed floors and helped fulfill Amazon orders. The next wave of robots will ____________.

– identify cancerous cells. (AP)
– proliferate throughout the healthcare system. (MG)
– protect your house. (TD)
– hopefully answer our email so we can actually start to get some work done. (AG)
– fulfill fantasies. (WB)
– allow me to be virtually someplace else. (GR)
– help the elderly walk. (RW)
– demand union representation and vacation days. (JS)

11. The Internet of Things will _______ next year because ________.

– freeze the pipes … North Korea will hack our Nest thermostats. (BJ)
– continue to not really be a thing next year … I really do not care if my refrigerator can talk to my toaster. (AG)
– accelerate … CEOs now believe in it. (TM)
– freak me out … it’ll sense my stress levels via a wearable device and automatically pour me an ice cold Budweiser. (PB)

12. After Google Glass and the Apple Watch, the next big wearable technology will be _______.

– Microsoft Fedoras. (MD)
– the forehead-mounted mood emoji. (JB)
– earbuds that filter out negativity. (AP)
– sentient diapers. (PB)
– digital jewelry. “I see your cufflinks are turning red; perhaps we should skip the dessert…” (GR)
– police cameras. (RW)
– the Starbucks caffeine patch. (MV)
– the “step away from the table tubby” belt buckle that beeps audio alerts when tension on belt increases due to excessive eating. (TM)

13. If you gave me $1 million and a top-notch team, I’d _________.

– go to Vegas. (WB)
– go to Cuba. (RG)
– ask for $10 million instead. (RB)
– disrupt Workday. (MV)
– open an office in Ibiza. (AL)

14. 2015 will be the year we finally stop tweeting about ________________.

– The Kardashians. (TD, RK, TM)
– Justin Bieber. (AG)
– the tech bubble. (RG)
– delicious coffee and meals. (RH)

15. My fantasy out-of-office e-mail auto-responder would say, “_______________.”

– “Just try and extradite me!” (MD)
– “working from Tamr’s Sao Paulo office this week.” (AP)
– “Sorry, there’s too much cash between my screen and my keyboard to respond right now.” (AL)
– “I was wrong — artificial intelligence has taken over humanity on Earth. I’ve gone to Mars. Thank you, Elon Musk.” (RB)
– “In Stockholm accepting the Nobel Prize for Management Education.” (TM)
– “Are you are STILL using email? Welcome to 1995!” (HA)
– “I’m not here, and I’m confident in your ability to figure this out without me.” (MH)
– “So long and thanks for all the fish.” (PB)

16. We’ll realize in 2015 that Boston’s Innovation District ______________, Kendall Square __________, and the suburbs _________________.

– Costs way too much … is sooo 2010 … are where the smartest tech people in Boston are working. Who likes traffic anyway? (MD)
– is where you make software … is where you make drugs … where you plant a garden. (ALPP)
– Back Bay … Weston … are all wildly overpriced! (HA)

17. The next hot emoji will be ________________.

– an Uber black car (ALPP)
– a lightsaber (MD)
– someone taking a selfie (AL)
– someone smoking a legal Cuban cigar (MV)
– Keytar Bear (GR)

18. My secret hunch is that Apple’s lab in Cambridge is working on ______________.

– brain-controlled devices. (BJ)
– a car that’s way cooler than a Tesla. (JB)
– immersive TV. (MG)
– virtual reality. (WB)
– Apple footwear. (AL)
– iEye, Apple’s answer to Google Glass. (RG)
– a complete re-write of iTunes — I hope. (RW)
– robotics. (GR)
– a mind-control technology that allows Apple to sell empty boxes at high prices to pretty much everyone. (RK)

19. I predict accelerator programs will _______.

– merge or die. (AP)
– decelerate. (MG, TD, AL, RG)
– shrink in quantity but become more specialized. (TS)
– start recruiting high school students. (MV)
– be just fine. (WB)

20. When Google starts testing self-driving cars on Boston roads, they’ll discover _________.

– that what they really need are flying cars. (BJ)
– a parking attendant with a large orange flag has directed them to a space 3/4 of a mile from Fenway and is now attempting to extract $50 from an empty passenger compartment. (JB)
– that no one is smart enough to solve Boston driving, not even a computer. (MG)
– lawn chairs and orange cones “reserving” parking spots. (SK)
– two new requirements: a louder horn and a middle finger. (ALPP)
– most signage is a suggestion. (GR)
– in Boston we have more lanes than meet the eye. (RW)
– rotaries and safe driving are not compatible. (RB)
– our tangle of roadways aren’t actually meant to be driven on. (RK)
– that Massholes are even worse than Glassholes. (MK)

Thanks for playing: Matt Douglas of Punchbowl, Steve Kane, Rob Go of NextView Ventures, Art Leonidas Paul Papas of Bullhorn, Roy Hirshland of T3 Advisors, Woody Benson of Bentley University, Maia Heymann of CommonAngels, Bill Jacobson of Workbar, Todd Dagres of Spark Capital, Andrew Grochal of Certus, Roger Kay of Endpoint, Andy Palmer of Tamr, Tom Summit of Genero Search Group, Mike Volpe of HubSpot, Michael Greeley of Foundation Medical Partners, Jeremy Sacco of Fiksu, Phil Beauregard of Objective Logistics, Josh Bernoff of Forrester Research, Anthony Longo of COeverywhere, Thornton May of IT Leadership Academy, Russ Wilcox, Greg Raiz of Raizlabs, Howard Anderson of Harvard Business School, Rodney Brooks of Rethink Robotics, Max Kilb of Northeastern University — and everyone else who submitted predictions!


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