From: bizjournals.com

It happens. As we approach the holiday season, you meet people at parties. They insult your profession. Other comments come from people who have had a bad experience and assume “you’re all the same.”

How do you respond?

Years ago, when I first met my wife’s extended family, I came across her uncle at a reunion. Upon learning that I was a financial advisor, he remarked, “How can you work in such an immoral profession?”

Why do they feel that way?

Having a bad personal experience often heads the list. I later learned the uncle had lost his job during the Great Depression when his company closed its doors. He rationalized this was the fault of the big Wall Street banks. Sixty years have passed. He hadn’t changed his opinion. What other reasons form their judgment?

• Being defensive:“I would never do your job” might actually mean they tried and failed. You made it in your profession but they still carry bitterness.
• Believable myths: People hear urban legends. Brokers cold call all day. Insurance agents go door to door. Lawyers are ambulance chasers. They believe the myth to be true.
• Negative news:“If it bleeds, it leads” appears to summarize news reporting when you turn on the TV and hear about tragedies. Thousands of people in your profession might be honest and ethical, but the one that cheats the public makes headline news. Some people assume everyone in your profession is up to the same tricks.

How should you respond?

It’s tempting to argue with them. You might want to avoid confrontation by finishing your drink and walking away. If you’ve had a bad day you might want to agree with them. All are poor responses because you have an audience. They might be potential clients. They are certainly people who would retell the story if you responded badly.

• Get them talking: It’s tough to respond if you don’t know why they feel that way. Draw them out. “Tell me more.”
• Are there myths?: They feel all lawyers are ambulance chasers. A search for attorneys in New York City on Martindale.com shows over 100 practice areas from administrative law to zoning, planning & land use. They might not be aware.
• Tell your story: Calmly position yourself within the context of your field. Aligning to how you help people is a good strategy. Keep it brief. They can smell an elevator speech a mile away.
• Lean on the firm: Your work might be technically complex. Position what your firm does instead. This helps if there’s brand recognition and your company has a positive image.
• Be proud: Regardless of your job it provides a living for your family. You are successful at it. You made a conscious decision to work in your field and stay there. Let that be heard in your voice.

What have you done so far? You’ve drawn them out, eliminated misconceptions, positioned your profession and your role in it. You’ve done this without being confrontational.

Suppose they stick to their stereotypes. What else can you do?

• So what happened?:“It sounds like you had a bad experience with someone who does what I do. Would you tell me about it?”
• I don’t need you: You are a travel agent. They do all their own research and bookings. They don’t see your value. Dr. Phil has his great expression: “How’s that working out for you?” At some time there must have been some travel mishap. Were they able to solve it? Would having an additional person working on their behalf help?
• How’s your relationship?: They may work with someone already. Their person isn’t bad, just indifferent. They don’t see your value because they’ve never had a great service experience. You might share an anonymous story.
• That was then, this is now: Their stereotype persists. Was it true at one time? Acknowledge the fact. Explain how things changed for the better.
• Invite them to talk more at another time: It’s likely they never intended to engage in a debate at a party. They challenged you. You showed you are passionate about what you do. They probably don’t want to perform before an audience either. Suggest meeting later that week to answer their questions. This should close the subject for the moment while demonstrating you take the person’s comments seriously.

You can stand your ground while being polite at the same time.