From: http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/

You can spot a phony a mile away. You got to where you are in business by developing that skill — which prospects might actually buy if you work with them and who is wasting your time.

Getting people to like you and want to work with you is a valuable skill.

You’ve met charismatic people before. When they arrive at an event, the party starts. Their word is their bond.

What creates that electricity?

Coming across as real

The world still has salespeople who see everyone as walking wallets. They engage in conversation but are secretly saying; “Shut up so I can tell my story.” They see discomfort and deflection as objections needing to be overcome. When you meet people in social situations those who came before you force you to perform at a higher standard.

People befriend people they like. They do business with people they like. Everyone has multiple choices of product providers on the Internet along with the bricks and mortar world.

When you meet someone socially, how do you convey sincerity and come across as likable?

1. Be interested in them

Most people are incredibly receptive to flattery. People enjoy talking about themselves. It’s been said the first rule of dating is: “The person talking is the one who is having a good time.”

• Scenario: You are at a museum exhibition and bump into the philanthropists whose paintings are on display. You thank them for sharing their collection with the community. You point out the obvious: The crowd is big and they are loving it. You ask, “How did you become interested in contemporary art?” You stop talking and listen.
• Result : Hey, this guy listens. That’s a change.

2. Experiences

You want to establish commonalities. In this case, experiences may be shared involvement in giving back to the community. If the world is made of givers and takers, your philanthropists are givers. How are you a giver?

• Scenario: The conversation with the philanthropists shifts when you ask what other causes are important to them. They name a few. You add, “We try to give back too. We try to help with the symphony and the homeless shelter. Not on your scale, of course. We try to do our part.”
• Result: He wants to be part of the solution, just like us.

3. Depth

You are younger than them. They know plenty of people your age who got a free ride in life because their parents are rich. Their own kids might fit into this category. They can spot airheads and trust fund babies.

• Scenario: They ask your opinion about national issues. Their company does business in Asia, they are concerned about a global economic slowdown. You are a reader of some serious publications like The Economist and The Wall Street Journal. You briefly lay out the basic facts and offer your opinion, referencing different articles you’ve read.
• Result: He reads! He actually reads! He can make a point and back it up.

4. Tact

You need to demonstrate you have a point of view, yet not come across as preachy or cause offense. The jury is still out whether they like you or not.

• Scenario: They ask, “So who do you like for president?” This has little upside and unlimited downside. You start by stating the key issues you feel are facing the country now. If they are economic, your listeners will likely agree. You mention one or two candidates who have successful experience addressing those issues. “But it’s early days yet. Who do you like?” You stop talking.
• Result: He thinks! He can back up an opinion with facts and explain it simply. I like this guy!

5. Get away

Lawyers often say that once the judge says, ‘Not guilty,’ close your briefcase and get out of there. Nothing else can be accomplished by staying.

• Scenario: Conversational pauses develop. Explain you enjoyed meeting them and why. It shows you were listening. Lay the groundwork for seeing them again at future events. Disappear.
• Result: You’ve left them with a positive impression

This brief conversation laid the groundwork for standing out and being likable, which is a good foundation for sincerity. Who knows where this first encounter can lead?